Stefan Katz... El Salvador has changed u

This post is on the magic of El Salvador... or better that I understand myself much better now 1.5 months after I left Switzerland.

I realized that I have a certain inconsistency in my argumentation. And those who know me know that I hate inconsistencies. But still I held this one up for a very long time.... Basically this is a very personal post and I was struggling for about two hours now whether I should post it or not. I decided to write it anyway because of two reasons:

1) I would like to tell all the people who had discussions with me on this subject: You were right!!!
2) I would also give some input to those who were disappointed in this area over and over again that there is something more out there. There is not only deception and pain, there is also the possibility that it actually works out just fine.

This post is, how could it be different, about love. And I'm afraid I will sound like a silly guy, and this is something I hate as well, but that's how I see the thing.

First I would like to put together some of the basic principles that guide my life (amongst many, but these are the ones concerning this issue)...

1) You'll never know until you have tried.
2) Fate doesn't exist. It's all about what you do with your life.
3) Things worth fighting for usually prove their worth by fighting back.

When it comes to love, I broke all of those principles. I am not very proficient when it comes to feelings, in fact I don't think I ever felt much for anyone. Whether or not, it doesn't really matter. Feelings are not my strong suit. My history is full of events when I wanted to make things happen, when I wanted to discover that area of life, when I consciously thought that I have to move in a certain direction to make it happen. It never worked. I had people liking me and I got ran away from that. I did everything wrong so far... I definitely have commitment issues, yes, but that's something I can work on...

My theory has been so far that I got nothing left to try. I never felt love for a girl and therefore never will. I protected myself from that by not getting into situations involving girls. I had wonderful conversations because of my views because I have a lot of friends who wanted to convince me that I'm wrong. But I put action behind the word, but for an opportunity guy who seizes opportunities when they come up for whatever is possible, it has been hard not to have these opportunities come up.

Love is just another way for fate to screw us, was my favourite quote. When someone told me that they are going to marry soon, my reply was: "My condolences..." (my views on marriage haven't changed, by the way, but who knows, everything changes apparently...

I wasn't honest with myself. I don't believe in fate. So the quote is bullshit in the first place. And it's not about being delivered to fate. It's about making things happen yourself. If love is a tool for life/fate/whatever to screw us up, it's up to us to make the opposite happen and not get screwed. And if it was only to screw us up, what about the moments of happiness before the break up. What about having someone that you can share everything unconditionally. What about waking up sunday morning and stay in bed just staring to the ceiling breathing in the wonderful scent of the person next to you. If this is a way to screw us up, fate should probably reconsider its methods.

Yeah, but eventually it ends... That's my reply to pepole saying that. But maybe it does, maybe it doesn't... You'll never know until you tried. There are enough examples where love lasted. And even if it didn't, there is something after love called friendship. There doesn't need to be a messy end. It can be beautiful to have a friend that you can still share everything with. Going through this whole process might be painful but, if handled properly, it can add value to all our lives.

I found myself saying in one of these conversations: Yeah, maybe love is a way for fate to screw us, but I'm not willing to give in and let someone else rule my life. I strongly believe that I'm the master of my own fate and I have been teaching that to people all around me. It's just about your approach. My approach is, and has been, with the exception of this particular area of life, optimism. I want to try things because I believe that I can make them happen. There is not one single reason why that shouldn't be possible with love. What if it works out just fine...

With feeling and commitment issues, this might prove particularly hard for me. But God didn't give me these issues to leave me alone and screwed. He wanted me to grow. He wanted me to challenge myself and try and learn. I am not someone who gives up even though I nearly did give up on love. Eventually I'll have my mind blown away and consider flying all across the planet to see one person. There must be someone out there who disregards these flaws and says: Stefan, cut the bullshit... Until that happens, I will remain optimistic and go for it...

I kind of get the feeling that all that mindset was mainly an excuse for not exposing myself. Saying that I got feelings for someone is more or less the most difficult thing for me. Having had this mindset protected me well from that... But that's over now... I'm again in charge of all my life...

The two people I have been talking about hopefully know by now who they are. All I can say is: Thank you... I owe you a coffee...

Cheers
Stefan

One months in paradise - only 11 to go...

Hello again...

I just came back from my MC weekend with my team and I must say: I loved it. I have a excellent team of three people. We had a lot of fun.

It’s been amazing to see my two girls plan, feedback each other and me, do Ice-breakers, all on their own. They might not have the deepest knowledge on AIESEC, but they cover for that with a relentless enthusiasm and a huge commitment. It has been truly inspiring to see them work.

I know that a team of three people is very small to run an MC for a whole country. That’s why we have an equally motivated NST that takes care of Talent Management and Finance.

My life in El Salvador is amazing. I still don’t own a bed, but I have two new families… It’s amazing how everybody here treats me like I have been living here all my life. There are huge differences in the way of thinking between Salvadorians and me, but in the end we all agree that we want to have fun. A guy actually asked me how long I was here, to which I answered one month. He answered me: “Oh, I thought you were here for longer, the way you interact with these people. So you came here before?” My answer was of course no. He said that he was amazed…

In the little free time that I have (which is virtually no free time at all) I’m reading this amazing book by Stephen King “On writing”… Whoever wants to bring something to paper, this book is worth gold for you… and it’s extremely amusing…

My other project, my bachelor thesis is not advancing at the speed I would like it to… so I’ll have to focus on that now for the next two weeks… It’s like writing a story and I should be able to write a good one…

Another thing is that I have a very interesting experience here in El Salvador. It involves driving… when I came here my friends were like: Do you think that you’ll be able to drive here in El Salvador, because it’s loco… and I was like: of course I can… So they started letting me drive with the result that I had to name a complaint department that ignores all the complaints dutifully… I dubbed myself the most reckless driver in El Salvador…

This is the first week of execution for AIESEC in El Salvador… let’s make it a good one…

Cheerio

Stefan

Being a nomad

Ok, I admit, it’s about time that I write something about my adventure in El Salvador. And I think that now right after a conference is the right moment to do so.

People

I’ve been living in El Salvador for the last 2.5 weeks without my own room, my own place to be and that was great. Yes, you heard right, I loved it… people here are so amazingly friendly and open. That starts with the parents of my host. I didn’t know anybody of that family and they took me in, making the most amazing breakfasts every morning (it’s a shame that I haven’t shown up there for a week now due to the prep for the conference). I learned that “mi casa e su casa” is not only a cool sentence I picked up watching Pulp Fiction but that it is a principle really lived by these people. It’s amazing… Everywhere I go I’m greeted friendly (I still have to determine whether that is because or even though I’m chelito)… All parents of my friends here are just simply adorable…

Country

The landscape is different from what I am used to. What they call mountains are what we Swiss refer to as hills… The conference was just next to a Volcano on one of the hills. It was really beautiful. Vegetation is different too, trees different, climate way too hot, it always rains… I’m rejoicing every time when it starts raining in the evening because that means that the temperature drops to a acceptable level. During the conference the temperature was actually dropping to the low twenties (you know, because we were in the “mountains”) and everybody was wearing two sweaters, three t-shirts and a hat while I enjoyed the agreeable temperatures in shorts and a T-Shirt (that’s another story, I’ll come to that).

Culture

I’ve made myself already a name of being “European”. People around me call me European every time when I’m my direct and honest self… I tried to explain to them that I’m special in that, that I practice a very high level of directness, but they seem to attribute that behaviour to all Europeans… I had already many, many discussions about me becoming nice… I tried to lower the expectations but the people around me seem to think that there is actually still hope. We’ll see about that… In the meantime I enjoy the really spontaneous and touchy culture here, which is very much the way I like it… Having seen that 4 of the 5 finalists of the Miss Universe event were Latinas, I’m kind of wondering where they are hiding in every day life… hahahaha… no for real, the amount of beautiful women here is absolutely satisfactory…

AIESEC

We started off without an office, without money (well, 68 cents on the account), no company database, no knowledge, no structure, no plan… But we started off… and the amazing things is that we moved in two and a half weeks already so far… we have people coming every morning exactly at 8 (well with exceptions, some ppl need more sleep, right?) with a smile and the question: What can I do today? It’s amazing to see their spirit. People tell me that the difference is huge, but I don’t know, because we only are doing this for 2.5 weeks now… But people are telling me that they haven’t learned in the whole year as much as in these two weeks. This feedback makes me extremely happy. The conference is the other example. We had some organisational issues and this made the conference more of an improvised gathering with an agenda that we sometimes kept and sometimes didn’t. But the delegates enjoyed themselves a lot. It was amazing to see that spirit…

A side note: This was the first conferences I did with two T-Shirts, one shorts, and one pair of underpants and socks… This happened because we had a logistical breakdown and I couldn’t get my stuff before the conference because the room I stayed in was locked and I didn't have any key, so I only had with me the things I had on the day before the conference plus a T-Shirt of one of the delegates who helped me out… This just added to the improvisational part of the conferences… But it was a interesting experience…

So all in all, I can say that it is definitely a wonderful year that I’m just starting to experience… It will bring me far, I’m sure of it… I’m looking forward to the planning of this year with my team and all the bonding and teambuilding we will have. We will continue building knowledge in Exchange to cover another part of our activities… but ppl, watch out for El Salvador this term…

Cheers
Ejtefano

Football

For all of you who have still not understood why Football is the best sport ever invented... well, here's the explanation... no further words necessary...

I had my little lost in translation experience here, being stuck at Schiphol in Amsterdam for about 5 hours. I heard the message “Passenger X, travelling to Y, you are delaying the flight. Proceed to gate Z immediately. We will proceed unloading your luggage.” About a trillion times. I know now where the most comfortable seats are, I figured that I love these moving bands that run along the gate where you can get on and you don’t have to walk.

All in all I can say that I love airports. But not only because of the things mentioned or the flight attendants (women in uniform… :P), but especially because of the international athomsphere. There are so many different colors, types of clothing, behaviours to observe. It’s phantastic.

I enjoyed waiting here a lot, but still I wanna get on that plane… but there is still a huge line in front of the gate...

Final post

Esta es mi post final hoy dia. I think after so many posts of today, even Gorjans RSS feeder won’t be hungry anymore.

I love airports. I know I’ve talked about that already, but I forgot to mention one important thing. They are fascinating to observe. I mean from a logistical point of view. I think being manager of an airport, where everything is interlinked and planes have to be ready as fast as possible would be a very special and interesting job.

Now a little outlook. I’m sitting here in the plane from Panama City to San Salvador. We’re probably gonna be late. But I feel like a child before Christmas. I know something good is going to happen, but I have no idea what that will be. I know I’m going to another country, but I have no idea how it looks like. It is going to be my conquest of paradise, the unknown. New people, new places, new activities…

And I think my caffeine immunity becomes slightly scary. I bought some sweets containing caffeine yesterday to stay awake while travelling. But even thought I nearly ate the whole package, I still fell asleep at every possible moment. I missed all of Cuba (I mean overflying it).

I hope that this experience will foster my belief in the good of people, that I can continue being open to people I don’t know. But so far I have made very good experiences with Salvadorian people. I really do not worry, I am just very excited.

Hola a todos

Hola a todos

Estoy a Panama.

So much for spanish right now… It’s been a long day for now. My second longest day in my life. Only the one when I was flying to Anchorage was longer. But on the other hand I haven’t arrived yet and we don’t know what might still happen.

Weather isn’t that nice, lots of clouds. But I still got a decent view on the islands off the coast of Panama (Carribean Sea Side). They are amazing. I would love to go diving there. I hope I’ll have similar islands in ESAL. Getting out of the plane I had a temperature shock. I felt like pasta being cooked, very humid, very hot (29 degrees). But I’m excited.

All in all, there is a lot of déja vus. The water tabs for example are the same as in Alaska. And I’ve seen the Pacific again. I know that it’s only a rather large area of water as all the other oceans. But the fact being on the shores of the pacific again bring back lots of memories.

They have no bookshop in the whole airport, that was kinda unpleasant.

It gets dark here much earlier than in Switzerland. We’re closer to the equator, it’s obvious but it’s still fascinating how that changes your daily routine (not that I would have one today, going through 8 time zones), but I still did not expect it to get dark so fast.

Call it hope, but I can feel that there is a completely different vibe here. I get looked at differently, making a very good impression as American tourist… ;) This will be an amazing experience and challenge. But I am ready and very much looking forward to it.

I am extremely thankful that I got the opportunity to do this. And I’m even more thankful for all the support I experienced back home. This is nothing ordinary. You are all great!!!

From Heaven to Paradise

Hola a todos

This is my last blog entry from Switzerland before (or better) while I’m leaving Switzerland.

First of all I would like to mention that this blog entry is destined to feed Gorjans RSS Feeder. Yeah, I know it’s been a while since I wrote my last entry.

The last couple of weeks were a blast. I realized that I love certain people much more than I anticipated. Typically for me, I realized that only when I was leaving them, but at least I did. Leaving isn’t that easy anymore. For me, having my personal freedom is very, very important and knowing that I’m kinda restricted in my departures is weird to me.

I wanted to thank all my friends for making my departure such a weird and new experience, for the joy and the laughter we shared, for the opinions and feedbacks you gave, for the hugs, for the kisses, for the discussions… I could go on…

I am pretty sure that I will have similar experiences with my new friends in ESAL, but it will be different and you all will have a certain place in my heart.

Now we just started…I leave my life in Swizerland behind me and it is kinda like the clouds down there. There have been up and downs, but I wasn’t myself if I wouldn’t have forgotten most of the downs already.

Hearing me talk about Swiss people and the country was not always a pleasure. At times I expressed my dislike of certain things in Switzerland quite stonrgly. I had to leave. But not only to get rid of these things, but also to redisover what is good in Switzerland.

All the ghings have their good side. I learne3d that when I was quite young around the age of 8 with the example of fliees. They are wuite annoying I found, but they help transform biological waste into earth again. Everything has its place. I haven’t quite found mine, but I hope I’ll get to travel all around the world in the search of it.

Next stop for now is El Salvador. A countfry with wonderful coffee.. I think I’m going to be very happy there.Chilling out at the beaches, enjoying the latin lifestyle, learning Spanish. It will be amazing.

Another thing that is amazing is the EURO. I think it was so far a great success. It is beautiful to see all these people walking thorugh Geneva, people from different countries singing together. It showed how much sport can bring us together. It was been a very non-violent experience so far. It’s been very well. And the dutch XP in Bern, which I unfortunately had to miss out on, has been impressive to look at… The Euro is kinda like an AIESEC party just with older people… ;P

Well, that’s all for now..

Leaders of the world

As I haven’t been active for quite some time, I would like to come back with a post about leaders, that have had an influence or mean something special to me. This list is not complete and I hope I will add from time to time another leader. For now I will write about the following:

Jesus

What is so striking about Jesus as a leader is that he never faltered in his way and that he lived what he preached. He was incredibly true to himself. His message of peace and love he carried until the end. After some time I realized that there are certain things that I believe in and for these beliefs, I have to stand up and speak up. There are certain standards for which we have to endure anything to keep them up.

Temujin

Better known under the name Genghis Khan. We all know that he conquered most of Asia and came to Europe. He used his troops very effectively with a exceptional strategy and tactics. The aspect of Temujin’s life that inspired me was the very early part. During his childhood he was ejected by his tribe and had to survive on his own. He had this enormously strong will and survived and kept his family alive. He had then to go through horrible suffering and torture before he came to power. This showed me that sometimes you have to go through difficult times until you become successful. This is sometimes hard to endure, but I takes the will power of a true leader to go through with it. And in the end, he conquered the world…

Hannibal

Hannibal became famous equally for his will power. But it wasn’t his will to survive who impressed me. He analyzed a political situation very correctly, that the war with Rome will be inevitable and he chose a very daring course. He was the one to move first and was convinced on his course through the alps. It must have take a lot of conviction to drive his army through the mountains and never second guessing whether this is the right course of action. And once he was in Italy he showed his truly brilliant mind by always using the situations to his advantage. If he came to a battle field, he always took what was given him and made the most out of it.

I will add other leaders from time to time, but these three have to be sufficient for now.

Besides that I got hit by a reading frenzy… Doing a lot of reading again… lots of fun…

That’s everything
Cheers
Stefan

Learn some creative dissing